Love is What?
by iyomaru
Summary: Lavi can only think about Lenalee. He's confused on what to do and he can't get his mind of her. What will Lavi do? laviXlenalee


**Alrighty then . . . so this is my first fanfic and I'm not much of writer but I try . . . you might say "why even bother writing then after that statement." Well, cuz I just feel like it okey doke . . . Alright so this is a laviXlenalee fic . . . so I hope you enjoy XD **

**Of course I do not own D.Gray-Man or any of the characters, if I did Lavi and Lenalee would've been expressed A LOT more . . . XD**

**The words that are italicized **_like this _**is Lavi thinking.**

* * *

Lavi couldn't stop thinking about her, Lenalee.

"Lenalee," Lavi murmured deep in thought. He sat there in his room on the floor, his head resting against the wall. All he could think about was the beautiful Chinese girl. Lavi tried to focus his mind on other things or other girls, but it wasn't working.

"Lenalee is so . . . so . . . "Lavi couldn't even begin to describe her wondrous features. He didn't know how to start.

"Her beautiful face, those eyes, her hair . . . just everything about her is so . . . "Lavi stopped. "Augh! Hmm . . . Alright, I have to try to get my mind off of her. Then, a light bulb went off in Lavi's head. "Oh, I know, I'll go to the library and see if the Old Panda is there." Work should get my mind off her.

The Black Order had been so quiet for the past weeks, it was almost eerie. Yu was off in Spain investigating recent Akuma attacks. While Krory was off in India and Allen in Tibet. Then there was Lenalee, who Komui sent on a mission in Germany, which wasn't too far, so hopefully she would be back soon.

Lavi investigated the halls on his way to the library, seeing if anyone of them had come back, particularly Lenalee. It seems he still couldn't think of anything else but her. Unfortunately, there was no sign of them. Soon enough he made it to his destination.

"Oi! Old Panda, are you here?!" Lavi shouted. "If you are, say something, would ya!"

Nothing, it was still silent. Lavi roamed around the library for a bit to make sure no one was there.

He let out a sigh, "Aww . . . No one's here!" He cried out.

"Eh, what was that just now?"

Lavi could've sworn he heard some talking down the hall. He closed his eyes and concentrated, he could here footsteps getting closer and closer. It seems that there were two people. The voices got louder, Lavi opened his eyes immediately.

"Lenalee!" Lavi rushed out the door.

He looked down the hall. "Lenalee!" Lavi yelled while waving his arm in the air.

Lenalee quickly turned around, "Oh Lavi," she smiled.

Then, the white-haired boy next to her also turned, "Ah, Lavi!"

Lavi's smile disappeared across his face. _Of course, together again. Every time . . . Every time I see Lenalee there's Allen right there by her side. What is he some stalker? It's like whenever there's a Lenalee there's an Allen. No I shouldn't say such things; Allen's a nice guy . . . too nice. I like Allen . . . it's just. If only . . . I could be Allen . . . but I know that could never . . ._

Lenalee and Allen finally caught up to Lavi. Of course, Lavi had to pretend nothing was wrong. He quickly changed his mood and put on a wide grin.

"So, how are you? It must've been lonely here at Headquarters. Almost everyone's been sent out on a mission," Lenalee stated.

"Ah, yeah. I swear you could hear a pin drop. It was almost like a ghost town. I was so bored I was crazy enough to go find Old Panda and do some work, but I couldn't find him!" Lavi whined.

Lenalee let out a giggle at his whining. Lavi's face would always light up, he just loved making her laugh.

"Lavi, we were just about to head down to the cafeteria wanna come?" Allen asked. _Looks like Allen wants to get there fast. Of course it's just like our little moyashi to want food after a mission._ Lavi smiled.

"Alright moyashi, if you insist. I guess I'll tag along!" Lavi cheered.

"O-Oi! It's Allen, not moyashi!"

"Whatever you say moyashi!" Lavi patted Allen's head. Lavi had an even bigger grin on his face as this made Lenalee giggle even more after watching Lavi irritate poor Allen.

They finally entered the cafeteria. Allen was already up at the counter giving his thousands of orders to Jeryy, who was delighted to have Allen back. Meanwhile, Lavi and Lenalee sat down across from each other, enjoying their conversation.

"Lenalee, I'm not kidding! The spider was like this big, humongous!" Lavi stretched out his arms showing Lenalee that the spider was almost a foot large. "It was hairy and ugly with its little beady eyes! I fell off the edge of my seat after seeing it and had to use my Ozuchi Kozuchi just to squish it!"

Lenalee couldn't help but laugh, "Oh Lavi, I think you're exaggerating. I mean a spider that big? Doesn't that sound a little too much?" Lenalee smiled.

"Lenalee, I'm not making this up it's true! I saw it while you were and Allen were out on missions!" Lavi whined.

Lenalee giggled even more at his childish whining. Allen finally got his food and settled down. Once he came back, it was like they forgotten Lavi was even there. They were both engaged in their conversation and didn't bother to pay attention to Lavi or even talk to him.

_I was just talking to Lenalee, but now that Allen's here she doesn't even bother talking to me anymore. I knew it, she likes Allen more than me, and she might even love him. _Lavi's cheerful expression suddenly became depressing.

_I guess Lenalee and Allen were made for each other. They're always together, she's always worried about his whereabouts or how he's doing. She cries for him, but not the way she does for her other friends. Allen is always there for her and the only one strong enough to protect her when we were fighting the Noah, but I wasn't . . . I wonder, would she cry for me the way she does for Allen? Lenalee cares a lot about her friends but she seems to deeply care for Allen. She's more affectionate towards him. _

Lavi stared back at Allen and Lenalee, who still failed to recognize he was there. His eyes zoomed in and focused on Lenalee. Finally, Lenalee and Allen looked back at Lavi. They both notice he looked quite depressed.

"Lavi? Lavi!" Allen said shaking Lavi's shoulder.

Lavi got out of the trance he was in.

Lenalee gave him a concerned look, "Lavi, are you okay? You look—

"It's nothing, I'm fine," Lavi remarked. "I think I'll just head to my room, see you." He turned his back at them and raised his arm meaning goodbye. His head faced down.

"Allen, I'm going to follow Lavi something's wrong with him," Lenalee stated as she quickly rose from her seat. She dashed out the kitchen.

"Okay bye, Lenalee."

The halls were still quiet; you could hear the "tip tap" of Lavi's boots as he walked through the halls. He was already a few doors away from his room.

_Lenalee likes Allen, I know it. It's just hard for me to see them together. I know that I could never be with her. After all, I'm more of the best friend that never gets the girl. Boyfriend or best friend it doesn't matter because I am a successor of Bookman and for that to happen I have to erase all these feelings that I harbor for her . . ._

Lavi halted. There was someone coming from down the hall. He glanced over from the corner of his eye, it was Lenalee. She quickly approached him.

"You're already here? Wow, you're fast, "Lenalee panted.

"Lenalee what is it?" Lavi turned away.

"What's with your attitude? I came up here because I'm worried about you. You were just fine, but then you became all depressed. Tell me, is something wrong?"

Lavi continued to walk towards his room. He got to the door and unlocked it.

"Like I said earlier, it's nothing. So you can just head back and meet up with Allen." Lavi was serious, Lenalee could tell but this made her worry even more. She also entered the room with Lavi.

"Lavi just talk to me," Lenalee demanded her expression full of concern.

"Lenalee, how many times to I have to say this, it's nothing," Lavi said almost yelling at her. She was persistent on wanting to know what was wrong.

"Lavi, why?" Lenalee's voice cracked, tears streaming down her face.

_She's crying, I shouldn't have been so harsh._

"Why are you like this? You're usually so nice and caring. Always joking around and making me laugh. But, right now, I feel as though you're being selfish, I can tell you're hurting on the inside and you won't let me help. We're friends right, so why don't you let me in?"

_Lenalee . . . I'm sorry. Yes, we're friends but I want to be more than that._

Lenalee started to cry even more, her tears like a waterfall.

"You should know that seeing you this way, hurts your friends. I thought we were close, Lavi. But it seems as though you're pushing me away." Lenalee sobbed.

Lavi put his arms around her and pulled her into a hug. He wiped away her tears and comforted her.

_Looks like I couldn't ignore you. But you cried for me and as wrong as this sounds, I'm happy that you did._

"I'm sorry, if I hurt you," Lavi smiled sincerely.

"Lavi . . ."

Lavi moved over and put his arm around her shoulder. He smiled back at her. He turned his attention to his window, where you could see the stars shining ever so bright.

"Lenalee, you know what love is right?" Lavi asked out of the blue.

All Lenalee did was stare back at him, telling him to continue.

"First, there's the love a parent has for their child. No matter what, a parent will always love their child with all their heart. Whether the child is good or bad, if the child is a criminal or not; they will always have their arms open for their child whenever they need them."

Lenalee nodded in agreement, showing she understood what he meant.

"Then there's the love among friends. They're close and have a special bond with you, whom no one could replace; they're a shoulder to lean on. Friends are always there for you, better or worse."

"Also, there's the selfish love. When one desires the other. They madly love that one person and refuse for anyone else to have them and love them. They selfishly love that one person, so they decide that if they cannot be that one person's love then that person must mot love at all then. There are people like that in this world who only care about their own happiness and no the others."

"But there are those who are different. Who love that one person so much, that they would put that person's well-being and happiness above their own. They would give up almost—no – everything to protect them, to keep them safe. They would even offer up their heart and soul to them. But even if that one person doesn't return their love, they still continue on loving them. They desire their happiness, more than anything, even if they can't end up being with them. They love them through all eternity."

Lavi slowly stood up and looked over at Lenalee.

"Just know this. Lenalee. I love you, no matter what. I'll be there whenever you need me. Whether you love me back or not, or if you love Allen or Yu, just know I'll always love you. I'll be with you every waking moment. My whole being is yours. That Old Panda is always reminding that a bookman has no need for a heart, but this one does."

Lavi put his hand over his heart, clenching his shirt tightly in his fist.

"Because I live to love you, Lenalee. And if my heart is gone and I'm forbidden to love or show any emotions, then I cannot live. Like I said, I love you; my whole being is yours, as well as my heart and soul."

Lavi gave her a warm smile; he started to make for the door. He was sure that Lenalee would not reply back with the same feelings so leaving her alone for now, would be best. Lenalee grabbed his hand, this shocked Lavi as he turned around to face her. Lenalee broke into tears again.

"Who said you could leave after saying things like that. You weren't even going to stay here and let me answer you, were you? Is it because you think I love Allen?" Lenalee looked up into Lavi's eyes. Lavi surprised at what he had just heard. She tightened her grip on his hand, telling him not to let go.

"Lavi, I love you, too."

Lavi smiled at this. He bent down and rested his hand upon her cheek.

"Is that so? Looks like I'm going to be big trouble with Komui. He'll have a broken heart after finding out his beautiful little sister is in love and he'll become even more depressed, furious even, when you tell him you love this idiot," Lavi smiled.

* * *

**My first fanfic and I am the first to criticize . . . I found it a little too corny for my taste, but it was Lavi and Lenalee so I guess I'm alright with it. My friend gave me some ideas, but I think I ranted on way too much on love. Well anyway, so hope you all enjoyed and sorry for my poor writing skills -.-' **

**Please review, but not so harsh, after all it's my first . . . but please do review and tell me what you think . . . I'll be thinking up a new story soon XD**

**See you soon! Ja! waves bye**

**+ iyomaru +**


End file.
